What Used To Be

MATTHEW 5:4 

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."

Mourning is so complex and involves so much more than just death.  I have experienced A LOT of death in my life- great-great grandparents, great grandparents, three grandparents, two uncles, one cousin, one student from our youth group, and my mom.  In all of these situations I had my own mourning to go through as well as experiencing the mourning of those close to me, like my parents, or Charlie.  And while I know I have a lot I could share about mourning the loss of a loved one, that wasn’t what was heavy on my heart to write about. 

While processing for this devotional I really felt an influx of sadness for the people in my life who helped me through some hard times, like losing my mom.  I was reminded of how much I miss certain relationships with people who are still living, but our lives have taken us in different directions. I am still mourning the lose of those close connections we had when our lives were on the same path. 

For me, most of these relationships involved church family. In church, especially in small churches, close and vulnerable connections are made. And it is wonderful. And life-giving. And brings so much joy and freedom. Until… life changes, people move, churches close down, etc. Then you are left with a wake of emotions because you were experiencing a taste of the kingdom, and the brokenness of this world came in and took over. It hurts deeply to lose close connections with brothers and sisters in Christ. And whether your realize it or not, you begin mourning the lose of those friendships. And God cares about this type of mourning just as much as he cares about mourning that comes from death.  

Cracked relationships are a result of sin just like death is a result of sin. And mourning what used to be, allowing your heart and soul to feel the weight of the sadness and separation that sin brings, is opening up your heart to be comforted by God. He mourns the brokenness of the world. He, more than anyone, feels the weight of “what used to be”. He created the perfect relationship in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were in perfect harmony with each other and the Him. There was no brokenness.  Nobody would move away. Nobody would leave because they preferred a newer, cooler garden. The relationships would remain deep and true, and fulfilling. And then sin entered the world and everything changed. And God mourns that loss. 

Take some time to feel the weight of lost relationships. It is painful and God knows your pain. He longs to comfort you in the deep places of your heart where this aspect of sin has caused brokenness and sadness. He also brings new relationships to bridge the gap. And the best part is, we have hope to all live together in perfect friendship and holiness for eternity. Old, new and future church family will live together for eternity. Allow God into your hurt and feel His perfect eternal comfort. 

Bridget