Don't Cheat On Your Spouse

3 For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil,
4 but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.
- Proverbs 5:3-4

Real Talk. This is probably the most difficult devotional that I have had to write yet. The whole proverb is about not cheating on your spouse. You can go and read the whole proverb. It's about 20 verses long. It would probably be good to do for context, but it's all about one thing. Fidelity. How do I capturing the heart of that in 300 words?! Furthermore, how do I make this about Jesus? Well, here goes.

Don't cheat on your spouse. We good?

Ok. So these verses are more about guarding yourself against the opportunity of temptation from one that isn't your spouse. The author is saying, don't put yourself in a position that you can see another's lips and be tempted. Guard your heart, and your sexual weaknesses.

Bridget and I just celebrated our twelfth anniversary. It's not all been easy. There has been temptation along the way, but something I have noticed is that I fall in love with her more the longer we are together, the more difficulties we go through together, the more phases of life I see Her trusting the Lord in, and the more time we simply spend together. But...sometimes that's not enough.

Sometimes I get blindsided by girls walking down the street, or random thoughts will pop into my head. Like what do you do with that? Is it sinful? I don't think so. Could it be? It could definitely get there. So, assuming that we are on the same page, and we don't actually want to cheat on our spouse in our heart of hearts, I'm going to give you a tip to battle the enemy tempting you.

Tip #1
Thank God for your spouse everyday. This will put you in a place of humility and gratitude for how God has blessed you with an amazing man or woman.

Tip #2
Take every thought captive. Run your thoughts through a gauntlet. You can't help it if there is someone that you are attracted to, or if you are blindsided by a lustful thought. But, you can take every thought captive. Say to yourself..."No. My wife/husband is my standard of beauty", and picture them in your head. In that moment, thank God that you have a spouse that loves and trusts you.

Tip #3
Ask God to protect you. Gotta put that armor on. God gave us access to Him to be our ever present help in our time of need. He will always always always give you a way out.

Tip #4
Don't go at it alone. Have a friend that you can call in any moment to have them pray for you. I have a couple of those safeguards in my life. Now I still have to be willing to use them, but knowing they are there is helpful.

Tip #5
Be a ninja. Pay attention to your surroundings. Don't put yourself in situations that you know are going to lead to temptation. I'm not talking about strip clubs, though that would definitely qualify. I'm saying don't find yourself at a bar having drinks and a laugh with a co-worker of the opposite gender. For me, it's don't have private meetings with women about church stuff. Like I have to plan those things at a Starbucks and ideally with my family in tow somehow...or at least a close friend that wants what's best for me.

Tip #6
Remind yourself of the Gospel. Jesus models put marriage for us. He calls himself the groom and the church is the bride. We have a great example of what marriage looks like thanks to Him. He loves us. He never leaves us. He provides for us. He died for us. We are His standard of beauty.

There are more tips, but those are a few good ones to just get you started.

If you are struggling with this, please reach out immediately to one of our elders, or your MC leader, or someone in your Build Group. Don't be ashamed. One of the biggest ways you can exemplify the gospel is to humble yourself and ask for help. Please don't do something stupid. We are here and want to help.

Please take a moment and Pray for our church's marriages. Marriage is the single hardest relationship anybody will ever have. It's also the most beautiful. Please pray for the marriages in our church.

- Charlie


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