Chaos or Blessing

"Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. " -Heb 10:22-23

This week was a tough week for me. Everything in my house decided to break at the same time. My AC, Internet, washing machine, and electrical panel all failed. I was lucky my house didn't burn down. I also had some major car maintenance that had to get done pronto. I've had a general lack of sleep. I'm also on a cleanse that is labor intensive. Poop. Several thousand dollars later here I am exhausted and still not quite done with the fixit list. I've had times of tiredness, stress, and frustration. When I finally remember to seek God after I've completely exhausted myself, I feel guilty for not going to him sooner and being able to share a testimony to the calm he provides in a storm.

I find comfort in this verse because i have already been washed pure. I have no need to bear a guilty conscience in the presence of God (unless I'm deliberately sinning!). There is no weight of shame on me. Moreover, as I have sat with God, he has given me joy over his love for me and reminded me of the tremendous blessings I have received. I have a house I can care for, I have community that have helped me fix my house, I have a safe reliable car to drive around, I've had some incredible opportunities that have taken up time but leave me astonished at what has been given to me, I lacked sleep because I was able to be present at a close friends delivery (right there with a leg in hand!), and I am surrounded in every area of my life with people who pray for me, listen to me, and support me as much as they can. In the grand scheme of life, knowing that I have Jesus who has sacrificed for my sins far outweighs the momentary trials of this life. I truly have no worries. 

Are you working through anything similar, church? Has life been chaotic or troubles seeming to pile on top of one another? I encourage you to take some time and search for the blessings. 

- Natalie