Patience = Grace

“A person’s insight gives him patience,

and his virtue is to overlook an offense.”-Proverbs 19:11

I have a new 6th grade student this year. At the beginning of the year she was sullen and quietly defiant. When called on in class, she just refused to answer. She gave attitude as only a 6th grade girl can: dismissively waving teachers away while rolling her eyes and breathing out an angry, “whatever.”

It was obnoxious and drove all of her teachers (including me) bonkers.

And then her file came from her previous school(s). Part of my job is to review new students’ files to check for important special education paperwork. Sure enough, such paperwork was included in her file, along with copies of several different court custody orders and records from at least 6 different schools. After piecing together all the records and paperwork, it became apparent that her home life has been tumultuous at best and that she hasn’t been able to stay in one school more than a year (and that was one of the longer stretches).

All the attitude and defiance-those were her defenses. The sullenness and “whatevers”-those were because she was scared and probably lonely and she’s done this “new girl at school” routine far too many times.

“A person’s insight gives him [her] patience.” The insight I gained from this student’s story filled me with compassion and mercy for her, which led to patience. The next time she was defiant, I was able to patiently ignore it and redirect her out of it. The next time she needed to respond to a question in front of her class, I could more patiently coax her through it with grace.

When we take time (or the Holy Spirit forces us to take time) to gain insight into people’s stories, their offenses, awkwardness, or other qualities that bug us begin to make more sense and it becomes easier to overlook them.

I feel like the word “patience” in this verse could be interchangeable with “grace.” When we view people as God would view them, made in His image, it causes our hearts to take more of a posture of grace, understanding, and yes-patience.

In light of the gospel, that’s exactly what Christ’s death and resurrection has done for us. When God looks at us, He doesn’t see our faults and sins, though He knows where our struggles lie. Instead He sees the redemption we have through His Son.

So here’s how to pray that out: the next time that one person (or people) annoy you or frustrate you, pray for insight into their stories-their hurts, their battles. Also pray that that insight will lead to patience and grace in how you relate to them, because we also have received patience and grace.

P.S.-just because I’m so proud of this student, the update is that because her teachers now “get” her and her story a bit more, she has relaxed. She works hard and seems to trust that we are there to help. She’s (mostly) replaced the “whatever” with smiles. Some assignments still become counseling sessions, but insight leads to patience, which also leads to heart change. She doesn't even know that we know her story; her heart change is purely a result of ours. That's the power of gaining insight and allowing it to lead to patience/grace.

Connie